INSOMNIA 

INSOMNIA

Head on my pillow.

Thoughts swirling around my mind.

Memories.

Some good,

Some bad,

Some ugly.

Some perfect.

Plans for the future.

All good,

None bad,

None ugly.

Some near perfect.

I roll over and close my eyes tightly, but that won’t help me.

Itchy fingers.

I want to write.

Wait.

I am writing.

Family Guy is on.

Stewie has taken steroids.

I sigh and watch, hoping to fall asleep.

I think about you.

I wonder what you are doing.

Sleeping?

You must be.

I want to go for a walk.

Maybe that will tire me out.

And even as I think it, I know I’m not going anywhere.

It’s too dangerous.

Ah, Insomnia my old friend.

At times I enjoy your company.

And at other times I see you as a pimple on the face I call my life.

I have a long day tomorrow.

I must wake in less than eight hours.

In the dark of the night I always seem to come alive.

Am I a vampire? Maybe I am.

If I lay still, and try not to think too much, maybe my body will succumb to slumber.

But it doesn’t.

Dawn will be breaking soon.

And I’m still awake.

I make myself a hot drink like I always do when Insomnia arrives to control me.

It doesn’t work.

I yawn several times, but my eyes are wide open.

Another hour passes by.

I’m watching Game Of Thrones on my laptop, trying to kill time before I have to get up. There’s just no point in sleeping now.

The sun is now rising.

I sigh and close my laptop and lay down again, my head back on my pillow.

Thoughts are rampant again.

And then I remember.

I bought some sleeping pills from the chemist for times like this.

If I take one or two, maybe that would be alright.

I get up and go into my kitchen, rummaging through the cupboard until I find the box.

Quickly swallowing two tablets with a glass of water, I go back to bed and lay down.

I hum to myself as I resist the urge to go back on my laptop, laying quite comfortably.

And I feel sleep creeping up on me.

Finally!

Where have you been all this time, sleep??

As my eyelids grow heavy from the effects of the sleeping pills, I yawn and settle down.

As dreams rush to meet me, I grin.

Sleep won.

My phone alarm goes off, and I drowsily stop it and pull the duvet over my head, settling down for a nice, long rest.

Stuff the plans I had today.

When I wake next, it is dark outside. I sit up quickly and grab my phone, checking the time.

It’s eight pm.

I groan and sit up, trying to shake off the drowsy feeling.

Never again will I take two sleeping tablets. I was knocked right out.

As I sit well into the night munching food and watching movies, I stopped as a thought hit me.

I will be up all night again.

And then I realise.

Sleep didn’t win at all.

If I hadn’t taken those pills, I would have been up all night.

Just like I will be up again this night.

I sighed and fell back against my pillows as another realisation hit me.

Without some kind of help, I hardly sleep.

Which means sleep won the battle the last time, but will lose the war.

Insomnia is the true champion.

Makala Thomas

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