JUST FRIENDS 

​We grew up together. 

You were always my closest friend.

And when we became attracted to each other, you murmured we should be just friends. 

It was frustrating but I accepted that, because I didn’t want to lose you completely. 

We were best friends. 

But I loved you. 

And I knew you loved me too. 

We’d hang out, eat meals, watch movies. Sometimes I wished the movie would never end. 

We’d hold hands and I’d rest my head on your shoulder, and you whispered we should be just friends.

A few years passed with us being just friends. 

Men were interested in me, but I only had eyes for you. Still, we were just friends. 

It started to frustrate me. I didn’t understand why you kept turning me away. 

Then came your many love interests, the women you seemed to choose over me.

What did they have that I didn’t? 

I screamed this question at you in a drunken rage, tears streaming down my face as I screamed why on earth didn’t you want to be with me. 

You looked angry too as you replied that you and I are just friends. 

And that’s when the light went out. 

I gave up. 

On you. 

On the idea of us. 

On everything to do with you 

That night I walked away from you, and deleted your number. 

I was done chasing you and I couldn’t remain friends with you either. 

Things would never be the same again.

A year and a half later I was back to my cheery self. 

I was over you, I had a great job, new friends, and I was loving life. 

I hadn’t seen you in that year and a half and I didn’t want to see you. 

You had shattered my heart and the rejection was hard to get over. 

YOU were hard to get over. 

But everything was great now. I even had a bit of a crush on my assistant manager, and he seemed to like me too. 

Everyone said we looked cute together, and I’d get embarrassed but I secretly agreed. I liked Edric Smith a lot. 

A month later, Edric approached me after work and asked if I’d like to meet up outside of the office. 

My co-worker Sabrina nudged me as she walked past, and I knew she wanted me to say yes. 

So I did. 

A week later, I was waiting anxiously for Edric to arrive at my home. 

We were to eat out, and then go to a jazz club, to unwind, have some drinks, and get to know each other. 

I checked my hair quickly before my phone rang. It was Edric, telling me he was outside. 

We had a really great time. I couldn’t believe Edric was so sweet and caring. He was a stern manager at work. 

He asked me so much about myself and I asked him a lot too. I really liked him. 

When he dropped me home, I remembered you. And I became scared. 

I had to ask Edric. 

“Before things go any further, do you see anything in me? Would you like to date me? Or do you want to be just friends?”

Edric smiled at that before he moved closer, and he gave me a tender kiss. I was surprised, but pleased as I kissed him back. 

When we broke apart, Edric caressed my cheek before me murmured “I see a lot in you. Yes, I would like to date you, and I want to go steady. We could never be just friends.”

I wanted to hear those words from you all my life. Instead I heard them from my boss, and it felt pretty amazing. 

I fell hard for Edric. I loved him and he loved me. 

Three years later, our son Raymond was born. A year after that, I married Edric. 

My family and friends were all there, pleased for me. 

When it was announced we were now man and wife, and I was kissed, I noticed someone I had left in the past. 

It was you. 

Our eyes met. 

In yours, I saw pain mixed with regret. I don’t know what you saw in mine but I wanted to know why you were at my wedding.

In a jokey way, you said you were a family friend and my mother invited you. 

I snapped that you stopped being a friend of mine years ago. 

You responded that didn’t mean you stopped caring about me. 

That may have worked on me when I was younger, turned me into mush back then. 

But it didn’t work now. Your charm didn’t affect me at all. 

You could see that. You sighed, and asked if we could talk. I sighed too, and replied you have five minutes. 

You took a deep breath, and then you quietly said that you didn’t expect me to walk away from you that night at the club, cut you off, and move on. That you were waiting for the right moment to make me yours. 

I replied that you waited too long and so did I. 

Before you could say something else my husband joined my side, asking “Who’s this Mrs. Edric? A friend?” 

You said yes, but I said no. 

“We were friends a long time ago. And that’s all we ever were, Edric.”

You looked really hurt, and I took my husband’s hand. 

Smiling because I finally had closure and was at peace, I walked away from you, Edric at my side as I murmured “We were just friends.”

********************************

Life is too short to hide your feelings from the ones who mean the world to you. Just say how you feel. Don’t settle and be just friends! 

********************************
Makala Thomas. 

ABC

Absolutely happy after being melancholy for a long time.
Beginning to see things really do get better.
Can’t stand some members of my family.
Doing really well for myself and my daughter.
Easily motivated because my work is also my hobby.
Feeling like nothing can hurt me although I know it can.
Going places.
Humble at all times.
I wish every day was a good one.
Just want to wish everyone a great day.
Knowledge is power.
Love is magical and I always have some to give.
Music gets me through the dark days.
Nevaeh is the name of my little girl.
Optimism has always been a trait of mine.
People come and go like seasons.
Queening is a term I find silly.
Really wish I could laze in bed every weekend.
Sometimes I smile in company and act happy when I just want to curl up and cry.
Twitter isn’t something I’m on all day.
Underneath my tough exterior is a really nice friendly person.
Very into fantasy shows and movies but I was never into Twilight!
Winter is my favourite season.
Xi is a word I never knew until I played Scrabble.
Yesterday is the past but the memories are still fresh.
Zombies are cool in movies but I believe there will never be a zombie apocalypse.

 

Makala Thomas 🙂

 

************************************************************************

(In order, I wrote sentences starting with each letter from the alphabet, mainly thoughts and feelings. Give it a try!)

abc-letters

 

 

GOOD GIRLS

She had a brain.

Always stuck to what she believed in.
She dreamt of true love, a home, a husband and children, of living happily ever after.

She was a good girl.

She met someone who made her feel things she had never felt with any other she’d been with.

He was smart, funny, there for her. He made her life brighter. They spoke almost every day and he always checked up on her.

He was a good guy.

She loved him.

He loved her.

They were good together.

Things were going great for a long time. Then it all changed.

He became distant. Contact was less frequent. Phone calls became brief before turning into texts.

She wasn’t sure what was going on. She asked and he said things were fine. So she made do with the short visits and even shorter contacts.

She knew something was wrong but her love for him was so strong she never suspected he had another.

The contact from that other came one day. They’d been seeing each other for a while.

And just like that, a good girl’s heart shattered into a thousand pieces. Tears fell and never stopped falling for weeks.

It hurt so much.

Everything was over.

The pain didn’t go away for months even when things seemed to get better.

He wanted a girl who wore sexy clothes and always looked good at his side, partied, never caring for the good girl who was loyal and waited on him at home, who did good girl things and remained loyal.

It hurt so much.

Her heart wanted her with him but she knew that wasn’t a great choice. She was a good girl, not a stupid one.

They still conversed but it was over.

Eventually, she cut him off.

She met someone else a while later, but that heartbreak had damaged her.

She concluded she might not have a husband, a home or children, or live happily ever after, but she tried to stay positive.

But she realised that a lot of good girls got their hearts broken.

image

Makala Thomas

Not All Fathers Are Deadbeats

My eyes open at the sound of a tiny wail. It’s four in the morning.

My partner stirred as I sat up, murmuring “Want me to sort it?”

“No,” my reply was, and I smiled at him. “I’ve got it.”

I get up and check on my eleven month old baby. Her bright eyes are very awake as she looked at her night light interestedly, sitting up and waiting for one of us to respond to her call.

I smiled as I looked down at her, and she beamed up at me, lifting her little arms. I picked her up and have her a kiss and cuddle before setting her down again, yawning as I make my way into the kitchen to make her a bottle of milk.

This is the first time in a while she has woken in the middle of the night. I smile and hum to myself as I prepare the milk, hearing her speak in baby language and my partner’s deep voice as he spoke back lovingly.

When the milk is ready, I bring it to the bedroom.

My partner is holding our infant in his broad arms, and she is smiling happily at him, her little bottom teeth on display.

I yawned, and he immediately said “I’ll feed her. Go back to sleep.”

“I’m ok,” I started to say, and he raised an eyebrow at me. He didn’t even say anything. I sighed and handed him the bottle. “If you need me for anything-”

“I need you to rest baby. Go back to sleep.”

I slipped into my covers, noticing it was getting light outside.

“Dawn,” I mumbled, and he chuckled, the baby drinking her milk, her eyelids growing heavier and heavier.

“I’m going to check the kitchen,” he told me as I closed my eyes, and I frowned.

“Why?”

“To see what you need. You know, food and drinks; shopping. And milk, food and nappies for little one.”

“I have enough milk and nappies-”

“You can never have enough milk and nappies,” he said amusedly, and I smiled as well. “I’m going to pop into Tescos before I leave for work. Just to make sure you have what you need.”

“Thanks babe,” I sighed, and I opened my eyes to peer at our baby. She was fast asleep in her father’s arms. “Nice.”

My partner grinned at me. “Daddy’s touch is as good as a Mummy’s touch.”

I stuck my tongue out at him, and he laughed before gently placing our baby back in her cot bed.

I snuggled up to him happily when he got back into bed, and he put his arm around me.

“I’m going to miss you both while I’m at work.”

“We’ll never be too far away,” I replied softly, and he gave me a gentle kiss.

I sighed happily. 

He provided for us, never let us down, worked hard, and although he was sometimes working weekends or had other things going on, he made sure he spent a lot of time with his kids.

And me, I thought, and my smile grew as I laid my head on his shoulder.

You hear a lot about fathers who don’t care or do a thing for their children, who walk out on them, don’t have anything to do with them, don’t pay child support and are abusive, the list goes on.

But not all men are the same. There may be a few rotten eggs out there but some eggs are golden. And if you come by a man who is a golden egg, cherish him.  

Not all fathers are deadbeats.

Makala Thomas

  

Thunder Was Booming

Thunder was booming.

Rain was pouring.

I had no coat.

I was soaked.

But I knew where I was going.

I was going to the home of the one

Who had my heart.

They had moved on months ago,

And I was stuck in a mental cage

Surrounded by memories

Missing the happiness I felt

While with them.

Thunder was booming.

Rain was pouring.

I walked and walked

Not wanting to get the bus

My determination

Gave me strength to walk

For over an hour

In this horrible weather

All I could think was

“I’m going to get you back,

No matter what it takes.

It was me that messed up,

And I’m paying for it.

But I will get you back.”

Thunder was booming.

Rain was pouring.

Your house is finally in sight.

I run and ring the doorbell

Over five times.

I see the lights are on so I know

You are in.

You open the door and stare at me.

Water is running down my face,

But I don’t care.

The first thing I managed was

“I was an idiot. I don’t want everything

We built to crumble because of me.

I just-”

You pull me into the house

Before I could finish saying

What I had to say.

“You really are an idiot. You’re going

To get the flu or something worse!”

I hang my head, then you smile.

“You’re my idiot. I’m sorry too.

I was going to call you today,

I wanted to call every day

Since we split.

I just decided to give you space.”

Thunder was booming.

Rain was pouring.

I was warm in a woolly tracksuit

I left here months ago.

We were snuggled on your couch

With hot chocolate,

Our free hands in each others.

I smiled, so glad I made the decision

To get you back.

You will always be my everything.

And even though I was afraid

Of being rejected,

I was determined to try anyway.

Love always finds a way.

Makala Thomas.

IMG_0032

A New Beginning

When life throws lemons at you, just make lemonade and take a sip of that sweet stuff.
This has been a good year in general for me. Someone decided to leave my life for reasons I’m not certain of, and someone from the past has re-entered it.
We all get ups and downs in life that’s just how it is. But it’s down to you what you make of it and how you handle it.
Sometimes life can be a little rough. I’m not saying it’s easy because then I would be a liar. I went through a lot in 2009 and the previous year, 2008, had been such a good one.
Since then, I have gotten back on my feet. Time healed me and I am a happy woman today. I finally found peace.
That’s life.
Even if it’s stormy at the moment in your life, that doesn’t mean you aren’t destined for sunshine.
2015 is going to be a good year I can feel it. That is why I’m writing this on the last day of 2014.
I have love, happiness, and plenty of hope.
I am positive.
I am looking forward to this New Beginning.

LOVE IS MY RELIGION

Love is my religion.

That is my decision.

The way of life I know and the blessings I’ve been given.

I don’t give a damn about the wars and politicians

As long as I feel love I’m in a pretty blessed condition.

Going to church and all sorts that was a tradition,

As I grew older I kind of felt suspicion.

Killing for your God puts you in a dumb position,

And if you mess that up then you’re deffo off to prison.

Love I always feel it’s like an aim or my ambition,

To give it and to spread it is my focus and my vision.

Makala V. P. Thomas

Kelz so nice

 

Thinking On The Night Of A Full Moon

Laid in bed with you on my mind.
Just thinking.
I wonder if me and you will be this strong this time next year.
Will we still be together?
I hope we will.
You are a blessing.
I am blessed to have you in my life.
I know you believe it’s vice versa.
But it really isn’t.
I stare up into pitch blackness…
Just brooding.
Every moment with you, I just…
I love it.
But I’m so afraid of being hurt.
Like I have been before.
I’m not asking you to promise anything.
I’m not begging you to stay.
The door will always be open for you to exit my life.
But never to enter again.
I hope you never do that baby.
Because what I feel for you is so strong.
So profound.
I want you.
I don’t know if I need or love you.
Not yet.
But I have a feeling me and you are good to go.
I hope you feel the same.

Miss Kelz (Makala Thomas).

💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖

That Time Again <3 (The War Between Heart And Mind)

That Time Again ❤ (The War Between Heart And Mind)

So it's springtime.

The time of love. The time of people to get hitched or find new love.

Which is great.

My heart is into those kind of things.

My mind is more practical.

While my heart says "Send him a text"

My mind says "Don't do it! He's probably not thinking of you the way you're thinking of him."

"It's SPRINGTIME!!" my heart all but bellows, and my mind shoots back "I couldn't give a-"

"Language," my mouth mumbles, and it's silent again.

So I put my phone down. My mind wins. But my heart has me gazing at his picture. He doesn't have to know that I am thinking of him.

Nobody has to know.

*Sigh*.

So here I am, munching chocolate. No ice cream. I'm not depressed.

Half an hour later my heart overrules my mind and I'm snatching up my phone again.

"Send a text, send a text," my heart whispers.

"Don't do it," my mind says curtly, but for once I choose my heart over my mind and begin texting.

"Hi. What you up to?"

No, that's just for idle conversation. But I cant just send "I really want us to be together". What to do. What to freaking do.

So I put the phone down again and pick up my chocolates.

Almost in tears two hours later. It's like my mind knows what's best for me but my heart knows what's good for me. I'll send the damn text.

"And if you get rejected? What then?" my mind demands. "You'll be depressed! Sad everyday, I wont have it! Stay in the friend zone."

Before my heart could counter this my phone goes off and I snatch it up.

It's HIM!!!

"Hey. This is going to sound so random. You're a close friend and it's great, but I was wondering if you'd like to go to the movies sometime this week?"

"HA!!" I shout, and my heart beats triumphantly. I wait for a few minutes before replying, not wanting to seem eager. Then I text back.

"Sure, sounds like a plan."

Sounds like a plan?! Why not "I'd love to or something??"

"Don't act eager!" my mind snaps, and I roll my eyes as my phone goes off, another text.

"Great! I cant wait to see you."

I stare at the screen. Then I laugh. And keep laughing. And laugh so more. This is crazy I cant believe it!

Throwing caution and mind to the winds, I reply.

"Cant wait to see you either. In fact I was going to text you if you didn't text me. xXx."

He replies with five kisses.

"xXxXx."

So! Hehe. It's springtime.

The time of love. The time of people to get hitched or find new love.

WHICH IS GREAT!!!! 😀

Makala Thomas 🙂

 Love Hearts Wallpapers 1

A Love From The Past…

A Love From The Past…

The first time I’ve seen you in six years…
At my friend’s cousin’s Ball.

I’m grown up now, older and more mature than I was when we loved each other…
Young and wild in our teens.
People tried back then to control our feelings for one another, just each other…

I think all these wonderful things
While I stare at you amazedly…
Someone whispers in your ear
And you turn and look at me.
My heart races as we lock eyes,
Emotions pouring from us both,
So many words in just a gaze
Before you put your glass down
And start to walk to me
The same time
That I start to walk to you.

Men shoot you angry looks
As you smile and I return it,
Men who were rejected moments
Before you saw me.
Instead of ignoring you return the look, pleasing me…

Though time has passed, you still seem to feel that magnetic pull I have on you, like you have on me.
We cant get the words out.
There’s so much to say, so little time.

The Ball ends in less than an hour.
Before I can ask how you are the music changes to something beautiful, slow…
Amazing like the expression on your face.
Without words you take my hand,
And walk me to the dance floor.

The dancers back away to give us room, as if this were our wedding day.
My friends have heard about the love of my life before fate separated us,
Before destiny brought us back together.

Your steady breathing soothes me,
Like it did so long ago…
Your fingers weaving through my hair.
We may as well not have seen each other in a week instead of six years,
For our feelings haven’t changed.

It feels like there are no eyes upon us as we slow dance, our own silent reunion.

The song ends.

The applause sounds faded as we gaze at each other, your face intent…

Before my arm is grabbed and my best friend shouts I was brilliant,
Whisking me into the crowd to get a drink and gossip.
But now that I’ve seen you, I don’t want to be with her when I can be with you.

I pull away, looking around…
Just in time to see you exit the hall.
Moments later your car pulls off…
You’re gone again.

Suddenly I feel need that drink.
I feel like I’m going to faint.
How long until I see you again?
Another six years? Never?
Were you even here to begin with?
Was I merely dancing with a stranger,
Suffering a moonlight mirage?

I don’t want to know.

I don’t need to know.

I just want to go home.

I bid everyone goodbye and hurry out, into my car.
I’m not far from home.
I’m too dazed to glance around before I park.
I grab my handbag, get out the car, slam the door and storm towards my house-
Before I shriek out loud.

Because I see you waiting for me,
Leaning against your car with a smirk.
You tell me I haven’t changed, that you knew if you left, I would have also.
I tell you you’re still smug when it comes to me and you, but you wave that off.
Whatever you’re about say
Doesn’t leave your mouth,
Because mine is on yours.
A five star kiss back then, it’s a
Twelve star six years later.

That hazy feeling has come over me, like before, but unlike and like before, you’re here to steady me.
You take my keys and slide one in the lock- the right key the first try.

I can feel my heart racing.
As we step indoors I realise
We couldn’t catch up during
Our limited time at the Ball-
Which is the reason why you left.

We couldn’t choose what to do
Surrounded by people,
But now, in my house,
We’re alone…

Completely alone.

Makala VP Thomas